when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
A few days ago someone told another cashier at the Walmart I work at that I shouldn’t be allowed to be employed because I’m corrupting the children with how I look.. This is what I looked like that day:
I wish I saw who she was so I could greet her on my day off.. I’ll corrupt her fuckin’ children alright. That’s a promise.
Welcome to Walmart, motherfucker.
my mom would actually love you omfg
Being in a relationship ends in one of two ways; breaking up or death. When you think about it like that, love really is doomed from the beginning yet we continue to nearly kill ourselves anyway just to taste it.(via ichfuehlmich-funky)